upside down
don't you hate it when you feel like you're becoming someone you never thought of becoming... like you're becoming more like the dad or the mom you hate. i know hate is such a powerful word... but do you ever get that feeling? i don't know if this is just post partum depression talking... in reality i just gave birth a month ago. but lately i feel so worthless... and soooo fried right now. yup fried not tired...
im in this relationship --- (what am i thinking "marriage") right now... that i don't know if its working or what the hell am i doing in it. and i know that the other person is not happy. it's like we are in it coz its more convenient for everyone to stay together than file for divorce.
we are always arguing about the smallest things... and im becoming someone i resent... isnt it that relationships are supposed to help you be a better and stronger person? guess not with this one...
posted by cellar at 2:55 PM
4 Comments:
Hang in there, every relationship goes through some really good and really bad times, you never know when something will come along and change everything. It will all work out the way it was meant to be.
4:37 PM
ey thanks... its just so hard... it really helps to know that you are not alone.
eventually ill get tru this... somehow... i hope
2:50 PM
Hey, I have been where you are. Those emotions, that letter, sounds like postpartum to me.
The relationship may not be what you want or maybe it is, but right now, it sounds a though your body ( remembering the depression is a medical condition) is asking for help. Listen.
Seek out a doctor, have them listen to you..really listen. Any doctor worth their stethescope will tell you that you need 6 weeks of treatment whether medication or diet, or therapy or..... THEN...and only THEN should you make major decisions.
Once you have a clear head, it is easier to communicate what you want to. It is easier to fight for what you love. It is easier to know what is right for you and what is wrong.
"There is a light"....a wise person once wrote on a blog of mine.
I had postpartum for almost a year after my son was born before I got help. You are the first line of love for your children. If you need help, get it and your children will be blessed for it...if you can think of nothing else, think about how much they love and need you. Sometimes that's the only thing that would get me through the day.
But, please seek help. Post partum is real, it is rampant, but it is treatable.
Hang in there! And know that you have arms reaching out to help...grab on, He's there.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.....
10:11 AM
thanks... i really appreciate that... i know that with kids in the picture theres just too much at stake to just let our emotions rule over us.
i guess everyone goes tru this phase and someone is always out there to hold your hand...
and all is gonna be well... you just have to have faith.
11:46 AM
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